No more excuses! (Or - Please stop spreading hate-filled rubbish across Facebook!)

I apologise that this will be a little bit of a rant. I had hoped that this blog would be a place of positivity and pretty artwork but this subject has just pushed too many buttons...

I am the mother of three extraordinary, beautiful, talented, infuriating, happy girls. One small observation that can be made about them is that their skin colour isn't the same as mine, and that they have the most incredibly curly hair that is insanely difficult to brush. This isn't something that defines the people they will grow up to be. It's just well...a thing. Their dad is Ugandan and I met him in deepest, darkest Devon after he had been sponsored to come over here by a youthwork charity. We chose to get married and we fought to get visas for him in order to make that happen. We paid best part of £3000 over about 5 years in order for him to stay in this country.

So that's a little background. Here is what has made me mad...my Facebook newsfeed has become increasingly full of people sharing hate filled propaganda about migrants coming to this country and about how we should be taking care of our ex-military personnel. 

Today I saw a picture of two african guys at the top saying "coming to England is like being reborn" and a homeless guy (supposedly ex-serviceman) on the bottom saying "Ex-servicemen should be housed before immigrants, share if you agree"
This was being pedalled by Britain First.
What disturbs me is that most of these things i keep seeing are being shared by an older generation of people.

"Oh, it's because of their generation. They just have no filter"

Um, excuse me. NO!

Racism is learned, and I do not want my girls to learn it. For the African gentlemen in that picture (that was obviously plucked off Google and used), coming to England probably was like rebirth. I would like the idea of being able to walk down the street at night in safety, if in the past I had been in fear for my life. Just because you can still hide behind a computer and hit "Share" that does not make it ok!
Now, I understand the sentiment. There is something wrong in the system. However, just because someone wasn't born in this country, why the hell should they bear the brunt of you mindless prejudice? What's laughable about this particular picture is that the African guys are probably from either Somalia or Sudan (I'm taking a little guess here but bear with me) Seriously, have you even been to either of those countries?!?! Have you ever walked through a refugee camp?!? Oh wait, let me guess, you gave a fiver after watching Comic Relief last year. Did it make you feel better?

This is a little bit of a geographic jump but when i was in Uganda in 2007 I went to an IDP camp...a camp for Internally Displaced People. It means they're still in their own country but just happen to have lost everything and had to move because the north of the country was being ripped apart by Militia groups fighting the military. That trip was probably the most harrowing experience of my life. Never have i felt so completely helpless or looked around and wondered what on earth the human race was doing to itself. 

Children kidnapped and made to become soldiers and kill their friends as an initiation.
Girls kidnapped and gang raped
Livestock stolen
Homes burned
Livelihoods destroyed
All in a country that was struggling to recover from the echoes of Idi Amin.

The camp i went to was the smallest ones in the area, and it contained 11,000 mud huts. These huts don't have any land, electricity or running water. There are no schools, or jobs. There is no hope. If you estimate very conservatively that each hut housed 4 people, that's 44,000 in one small area. In the height on Uganda's conflict in 2005 there were 1.8 million Internally Displaced People in 251 camps across 11 districts in Northern Uganda. I'm picking this particular conflict because I've experienced it, but the point I'm making is that while we sit in our warm living rooms, with our broadband and our cups of tea, blaming immigrants for taking our jobs, our homes and our wives we need to understand the circumstances under which these people left their homes.

Go, and damn well educate yourselves, people! You are responsible for what you associate yourself with! No more excuses!

Of course it's a disgrace that our military are not treated better. Military personnel account for 1 in 10 of homeless people in this country, you know what, that's 9 other people who need a home too! But would it be a little too radical to point out that as one of the most prosperous countries in the world...we might actually have enough to look after EVERYONE! How about we dock the Bankers bonuses and use that to pay for housing?! Just a thought. 

The true issue in this world is that if we stopped killing each other and oppressing each other things would change so much. But our world is so saturated with attitudes of fear and hate that it's literally ripping humanity apart. When you share stuff by people like Britain First, you are taking part in this hate. Hate needs to be fed in order to grow and that's what you're doing.
You are jumping to the defence of our ex service personnel in the very manner and attitude that those who lost their lives in WW1 and WW2 and many wars since, were trying to protect you from! 

How, oh, how can you not see that sad irony.

I would like it noted that some of the people sharing and agreeing with this garbage also tell me how wonderful my children are - to you I say this, you might want to think about that - if you tell me my children are so wonderful, imagine the other wonderful people who come to this country who could be your potential new best friends.
This post is written in anger and frustration. I am shaking as I write because my heart is breaking for this world. I refuse to share this stuff because I do not want my children to inherit this world of hate that you are perpetuating. I want them to love people. Period.

A new addiction!

Now, before you panic, this isn't a blog post about illegal substances. I have found a new art form that I'm completely addicted to. I have a somewhat addictive personality, i'll admit. I do tend to get a little obsessive about things in short (and sometimes longer) bursts. But the reason behind this one is a little different...

I have discovered Zentangle!

Just a couple of my own designs

Zentangle was created Maria Thomas, a lettering artist and Rick Roberts, who lived as monk for 17 years. It's an incredibly focused technique that creates a "string" and then fills in the spaces that the string creates with patterns or "tangles". All that is required is good cardstock, a fine black pen and a pencil. That's all.

The premise behind this art form is very much about process. To be a true Zentangle, the drawing must be done on a 3 1/2 inch square and that's one of the beauties of this kind of drawing. it is small and portable. Its easy to see results in a fairly short space of time. 

This one was done on my train journey to Birmingham, slightly frustrating trying to deal with the movement.

But the most profound thing i have discovered is what it does to my brain while I'm doing it. I frequently become quite lost in thought when I'm painting or creating but not like this. It is so absorbing that everything else just fades away. I feel calmer (and life has been pretty darn intense recently) and I have been sleeping better too.

Feeling so quiet in my head is such a lovely feeling, when we're so enveloped in a world of sound. I often get quite cross with myself for wasting evenings when i could have been creating in my studio space but sometimes starting a big project is just too overwhelming when I'm tired. So achieving just this small thing in an evening is very satisfying.

And the best thing...anyone can learn it. Sure, it will take a bit of practice, and starting simply is key. But i picked up a book with lots of instructions on how to get started and a directory of official "Tangles" for under £5. Also Rick and Maria have an official blog with lots of inspiration and suggestions, you can find it here. 

This art form, of course, is not limited. "Zentangle Inspired Art" pushes the boundaries out further, and led to an explosion of animals and objects all illustrated with beautiful tangles. Pinterest has a wealth of inspiration and instructions with step by step guides, so it's really hard to run dry on ideas.

Tapping into creativity is being recognised more and more as a vital part of our overall well-being and mental health but sometimes knowing how and where to start with that is hugely daunting. I would suggest for anyone who doesn't know where to start...this is perfect! So, if you're looking for a creative outlet, a new hobby or perhaps you struggle to switch off before bed and suffer with insomnia...I would really encourage you to give this a go, not only will you create something amazing but the other benefits will be fabulous.

Happy drawing x

Dream. Create. Inspire.

Dream, Create, Inspire

It's been a while since i last posted, since then we've had three lots of chicken pox in the house, birthdays, school and preschool inductions and all manner of things in between.

This piece, like a lot of other things i seem to create, became a birthday present for a very special friend, who is a very talented musician and highly creative person. But it had the added complication that i couldn't just resort to my go-to flowers and butterflies because it need a much more masculine feel to it (although I'm sure there are guys out there who would be just as appreciative of those things).

I'm taking a lot of inspiration from Steampunk at the moment, loving the fantastical creations and free reign for the imagination, so with a little dose of that and some beautiful rust and gold colours this altered bottle was born.

Just some of the things used include Tim Holtz Idea-ology embellishments, Lindy's Stamp Gang sprays, Finnabair stamps and a selection of clock parts from Ebay.

I think it was well received and it was a pleasure to make.
Axx

Changing seasons and new purposes

A few weeks ago my garden exploded! It relished the warm fingers of sunlight caressing it's bare branches and overnight it sprung into a riot of different shades of green. I love how sudden it can be.

I think these kinds of season changes filter through into different facets of our lives. I seen change happening all over the shop. Things coming round full circle, but looking very different because I've grown, changed. The perspective has changed. A tree, though it is in constant cycle of greeting spring after winter, autumn after summer, never sees the return of those seasons in exactly the same way as it received them the time before. It's interesting to look back and see the changes in my own life personally, sometimes its a little challenging, especially if the difference is less than I would like.

I've taken to "repurposing" things, changing their appearance or function, trying to find the beautiful potential in some times boring objects that might other wise just end up in the recycling bin. Actually, the base of this one was wooden woven heart that I saw in a shop and thought "I know what i can do with that!" 

And this is what i did with "that"...

This became a birthday gift for my beautiful friend Christina

 My camera fails to pick up the amount of iridescence in this piece, but it's real sparkle party going on courtesy of Lindy's Stamp Gang sprays which I'm totally in love with.

Hope you enjoy

Ax

Mistakes

I have made a monumental mistake. This is a brain splurge because I'm completely struggling to get past it and I'm hoping this will help in some way to order my thoughts and help me move forward.

I committed the ultimate internet sin. I clicked the box that said I had read the document with all the terms and conditions and information with an online form. 

But I wasn't buying something I could return. It's not like I've just lost money on something because i was careless. This was my daughter's school placement application.

Only I didn't read it. At least, not the whole of that stupid 14 page document. In fact, I cannot find anyone who did, but for some reason its come back to bite me and me alone. Or it certainly feels that way. 

Last Autumn when i did the application life was on that awful stomach churning downward lurch of a rollercoaster. It was as much as I could cope with to fill in the form and send it, let alone actually really engage with and think about reading a jargon filled document. Of course, hindsight is an amazing and terrible thing. Of course, I should have explained that my eldest daughter had been forced into an out of catchment school that we never chose for her and now I was applying for a sibling to join that same school. But nowhere on the form indicated that i needed to tell them this at all. For some reason I just assumed that they would know that. In fact the paragraph relating to our situation is on page 13 of the 14 page document! But i couldn't even think like that back that, applying that kind of logic in the blackness of everything else was completely beyond me.

And now my beautiful sassy daughter hasn't got into the same school as her sister because I filled the form in wrong and ticked the box to say i'd told them everything they needed to know. The weight of guilt that i have felt is almost overwhelming. So here's to hoping that logic and common sense will prevail in the appeals process, that some lovely people will see that it is absurd to expect someone who doesn't drive to drop two children at schools a mile and a half apart within 15 minutes of each other and to pick both of them up at 3pm and that siblings really should get preference whether or not they live in catchment!

I realise now that I messed this up, but i hope someone out there will give us a second chance, because we were let down in the beginning by a system that didn't give us our catchment school because there were never enough places when Mirembe started. Someone really needs to make the idiosyncrasies clearer! 

It's interesting to note that there is a new school being built before another five hundred houses are built in our town. All those school places have been filled already. Where are the children who move in to those houses supposed to go exactly...?

Sun, sand and encouraging the dreamers

I'm conscious that I don't really want to write too many posts with regards to parenting. I'm not a model parent and there appear to be many people out there who are much more qualified on the subject than I am. But this is important to me...

After spending a lovely day at the seaside with the beautiful three and my parents yesterday, after digging holes, building sandcastles and trying to prevent sand getting absolutely everywhere. After watching my girls enjoy being outdoors, collecting shells, exploring sand dunes and generally having the time of their lives, I sat and read this...

Essentially, if you don't want to take the time to read it, a lady who has done the amazing thing of adopting three children who have had a very damaged start to their young lives, is outraged about an article in a certain newspaper which brands children who don't pass year 6 SATS as "mediocre failures"...this is rhetoric coming from this government with regards to education and it cannot possibly take circumstance and individuality into account.

Besides making me very angry for this family who have already overcome so much, I found this article challenges me on how I plan to support the nurturing of my children through their academic life. Of course, my biggest hope is that they excel, of course it is. But what resonates with me is that I need to recognise in their everyday world, the things that make them tick...their own passions and characteristics that need to be encouraged. Those things that make their eyes light up. My own passions and joys in life are not particularly measurable by academic achievement. Yes, i can read and write to a fairly good standard but its my over active imagination and love of words that has fueled this and it's probably not the first thing i would tell you that I'm good at.

The political standards of education are never ever going to measure my children's capacity for compassion and empathy or the beautiful way in which they build relationships with those around them. Or what their presence in this world is going to give to others over the course of their lifetime. I refuse to let a bunch of people who have never, and are very unlikely to ever, meet my children, tell me that they're not good enough for their system.

I want to share this quote with you that really stirs my heart...

"It is crucial that when our children look into our eyes, regardless of the circumstances bearing down on them, that they see someone who believes in them"

Danny Silk                  

All I can say is that I'm trying to do my best to draw the strengths and talents out of these incredible little people. I know that they are going to have struggles down the line. There are times that they push me to my limit, sometimes beyond it. Sometimes I shout, and get angry with them. Sometimes, I want to go and hide and eat chocolate. But the instant something is a little bit off kilter, my instinct is to draw them to me, to sooth and reassure, to tell them that they have the potential for anything they dream of.

When I think about the joy that my children had spending time exploring nature, learning about how sand works when constructing sand castles. When i watch them painting, or helping me cook. When my oldest come home from here swimming lesson and tells me how well she is doing...it is evident that there is so much more to education in addition to what they can learn in a classroom that can never be measured by Whitehall suits. It sounds obvious, i know, but sometimes its good to make a conscious stand.

I will not allow their potential to be defined politicians and statistics. 

I will encourage them to go higher, do more, reach further and dream bigger, however that looks for them.

My dreams did take flight!

I have this thing where if I wake up fairly early, I usually doze off again and have the most peculiar dreams. Its a bit like the film Inception* in that I can feel like I'm dreaming for hours when in reality it's only fifteen minutes or so.

Today's involved ships...big oil tanker type boats, so big that the top of them could barely be seen close up. There was a shower in a room somewhere. Not on the boat, somewhere else. I was wet, absolutely drenched. Then there were bombs and things exploding at really close range. I was looking for someone but I have no idea who.

Something about the end of the world. Then, I was in a car driving through the Fen countryside, for those who don't know it's very flat and the sky is very big. Then, in that dreamlike state, I was shepherding small children down a country path somewhere, a Jay chattering in a branch over head... three woodpeckers go shooting passed, two green ones chasing a red and black one at breakneck speed...

I think i woke up not long after, the bit with the birds was the resounding impression from the dream.

Didn't think much about it at all, even though it was vivid. Got up, showered, took some laundry out to the tumble drier in my garage, which involves going out into my garden. 

All most jumped out of my skin when a woodpecker started tapping away at the poplar tree behind my house!**

He was red and black, he disappeared off into another tree. 

Very strange indeed.



*What's wrong with you, seriously brilliant film!
**Just before you get all cynical and say i heard him in my sleep, my lower end hearing is pretty shot, so the thrush that lives in the same trees annoys me no end, but i just wouldn't have been able to hear a woodpecker at all from inside my house.

"Let your dreams take flight"

So, time to share a little creation with you. I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine about what our creativity is "for". I struggled doing A level art because so much of it was about the thinking behind a piece. The truth is I see things in my head and I just try and bring them to life. No huge process, although it might not necessarily go to plan. I like to make beautiful, poignant, inspiring things.

"Let your dreams take flight"

I recently tried to move away from being confined by a rectangular canvas and trying all kinds of new ways to drag my mental visions in to reality. So far it's been a lot of fun and this wall hanging is the result of some of that experimenting. 

I've been trying out a few new techniques with distress inks, texture paste and sprays, after finding some wonderful inspiration from other artists (I'll share some of them in another post), it's great not being limited to what i can do with a paint brush. That said, I'm very much looking forward to finding ways to incorporate some of these ideas into my other ways of working. 

Enjoy x

...and a cup of tea

Even The Doctor rates it highly!

Tea is a funny thing. So very British, yet not British at all. Apparently, it was first discovered in China over 5000 years ago, quite by accident. And what a happy accident. However the British didn't benefit from this delightful beverage until well into the 17th century and even then it was an expensive luxury.

I love tea. I like it strong, but milky with one sugar. That hot cup of bliss has a wonderful capacity to help make even the most tumultuous situations a little bit calmer. There have been so many times that tears and laughter have been shared between friends and family over a good cuppa. It was a little tricky when i completely went off the taste of hot milk when i was pregnant. I missed it but really couldnt stomach it.

Tea and I had an odd relationship in the beginning. My mum used to drink so much of the stuff that I'm sure she was made up of 60% tea rather than water. However, what she used to term "tea" put me off "proper tea" for a long time.

She made her tea with skimmed milk and 2 sweeteners.
Can that even be called tea? 
But it's all i remember her drinking for years. She loved it. So much so that she wrote a little ode to the humble cuppa...


The perfect pick-me-up

Oh, how I love my cuppa, I love my cuppa tea,
I love the one I make myself, or if it's made for me,
It tastes so good and warming, each time I sip it down,
It can put a smile upon my face, and drive away a frown.

I love my tea at breakfast time, I love it with my tea,
I drink it in the afternoon, and when I watch TV,
There's really nothing like it, I think it's really grand,
For me it is the finest drink there is in all the land.

Each morning when I waken, I like to drink my tea,
It's good for dunking biccies in, I almost jump with glee,
So if someone likes their cuppa, don't ever scorn or tease,
Just wait for them to turn and say 'I'd like another, please'.

Carol Lewis

(Ironically, she doesn't drink tea any more, she drinks "tea without the teabag")
How do you take yours?

A x

Chaos...

Welcome to chaos!

Or rather, to the chaos that exists inside my head. I don't know about you but I always seem to have multiple trains of thought going on at any one time. They all seem to get tangled up like a string of christmas lights. Unpicking them is messy and it gets pretty noisy in there. Add to that external noise of three small but boisterous girls and all their needs and wants and frankly, silence is golden.

This blog is an attempt to capture and order some of the more specific moments in the chaos. A chance to linger on the things that either my slightly frazzled brain will forget if i don't make note of it or that i want to make a deliberate point of sharing with the world. 

This will also become a place to share my creative endeavours, rather just adding random photos on facebook. 

I hope you'll enjoy the exploration with me.

Anita x