A gentler beginning.

Ah, so time for the obligatory "New Year" post. Full of resolutions and crazy objectives for the coming year. 

This year will be the year that I finally do all those things I've been meaning to get round to doing. The year i find the inspiration and motivation to go on a "low carb, no sugar, vegan, raw juice, eat only spinach two days a week" diet and frequent the gym five times a week.


No. Really, no!

The marketing machine is in full swing of selling us the post-christmas indulgence guilt trip. I've lost count of the amount of gym membership, diet pill, beauty adverts I've seen on the little TV that i watch. So, wait...you've convinced us that we need to spend a fortune indulging over christmas on decadent food and then, in the blink of an eye, sending us on a guilt trip for gaining a few pounds...and we all fall for it! 

I have made one decision this year. Call it a resolution if you must but I prefer to just see it as an attitude shift, one that won't be dependant on changing seasons. 

I'm going to be gentler with myself.

During a conversation with a dear friend of mine of facebook a few days ago I recalled reading an article about how we have a propensity to view ourselves with a very critical filter. If all our thoughts about ourselves slip through this filter we run a huge risk of focussing solely on our own, sometimes imagined, negatives. This year I'm going to give myself permission to be less critical with myself. If I'm brutally honest I really struggle with this. I have three fabulous girls under 8 years old, i have two part time jobs and a house to look after and i beat myself up constantly over my perceived failings.

We need to give ourselves permission to go to bed each night thinking "I did this or that today, and that's good!"
Not consumed by the endless list of things that need doing. 
We need to allow ourselves mental space to just appreciate the myriad of things that we do achieve every single day. 

Sometimes, the fact that my children have woken up, been fed, dressed in (usually) clean clothes, made it to school and home again, and enjoyed their day...sometimes, I need to allow that to be enough, to be good enough. Rather than my head telling me how i didn't manage to do x,y,z. Sometimes I need to allow the fact that I managed to make it to the end of the day and not have a sink full of washing up to wake up to, that that's been enough for that day.

I'm not suggesting laziness. But i am suggesting that we look at what we really spend time doing and how we allow ourselves to think about us. So, I'm not going to beat myself up over the few pounds gained over christmas, because I gained them sharing food with my lovely family and friends and there is time to make small adjustments over the coming months if I really feel the need. 

I'm not going to beat myself up over the laundry up in my bedroom that isn't put away yet or the toys that aren't really in the place i'd like them to be. Or that there's a pile of paper that needs filing in the kitchen, or that the washing up that has drip dried needs putting away. Or that I have multiple cupboards that are blackholes which really need some attention and i haven't done it today.

Instead, today I allowed myself a little bit of love and had a hair cut for the first time in eternity. I worked hard at my job and went a little cross-eyed over spreadsheets. I've cleaned a bit, enough that I'm comfortable with and I've cooked good food (which is still cooking in the oven and smells so good it's making my stomach rumble!) and I'm waiting for my beautiful three to come home from their dads. Today has been a good day.

You, whoever you are reading this, are an extraordinary individual. There are things that you do, thoughts that you have and ways of seeing things that only you can do. No one will ever have your combination of love, passion, creativity, determination, and inspiration ever again. You achieve amazing things everyday even though it doesn't feel like it, and you have done some of them today.

So rather than going to bed tonight with a mental to-do list, kicking yourself for what little you have achieved...
Make a list of the good things that have happened and, above all, be gentle with yourself.

Ax